Take Me Out To The Ball Game
This has been the summer of baseball for me – as of Monday, I’ve attended ten professional games: two Frederick Keys games, a Peoria Chiefs game in Illinois, a Cedar Rapids Kernels game in Iowa, a Reading Phillies game and a Philadelphia Phillies game in Pennsylvania, a Washington Nationals game and 3 Orioles games. Sadly, my beloved Cubs are fading fast, but all in all, I must say that I’ve enjoyed myself this season. I might even squeeze in another game or two before it’s over – an even dozen sounds good to me.
In case you haven’t been there lately, I should tell you that a trip to the old ballpark isn’t just about baseball anymore. There are picnic pavilions, swimming pools and hot tubs, mascots and merry-go-rounds. There is also a lot of between-innings entertainment. One of my favorite moments during this baseball summer was watching what the folks in Reading call “The Human Hamster Ball Race.” They put two people in huge clear plastic balls that roll just like the plastic balls that hamsters run about in, and then those two people race, regularly bumping into each other and knocking each other off balance. It looked like a blast, and was great fun to watch.
On the other hand, I regret to say that one of my least favorite between-innings entertainments has become ubiquitous – the infamous “Kiss Cam.” This involves cameras around the stadium zooming in on unsuspecting men and women sitting side by side in the stands. The picture is then projected up onto the jumbotron screen for everyone to see, under the words “Kiss Cam.” If the couple sees themselves up on the screen, they are supposed to kiss. If they do, people applaud. If they kiss passionately, people cheer. If they don’t kiss at all, people boo.
Of course, the people with the cameras only point the cameras at pairs they assume are couples – husband and wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. But frequently it is painfully obvious that the people with the cameras have assumed wrong – they have paired up people who are strangers or siblings or otherwise have no reason to want to kiss each other, especially with 40,000 people watching.
So now, if you go to a ball game you have this to worry about. What if a woman you don’t know sits down beside you and the two of you end up on the Kiss Cam? And what if, even though you don’t know her from Eve, she decides to try to kiss you anyway, because she doesn’t want to be booed? And what if when she tries to kiss you, your wife is sitting right there on your other side? Well, maybe I’ve given this way too much thought, but in the end it comes down to this – I just don’t like being put on the spot.
In case you haven’t been there lately, I should tell you that a trip to the old ballpark isn’t just about baseball anymore. There are picnic pavilions, swimming pools and hot tubs, mascots and merry-go-rounds. There is also a lot of between-innings entertainment. One of my favorite moments during this baseball summer was watching what the folks in Reading call “The Human Hamster Ball Race.” They put two people in huge clear plastic balls that roll just like the plastic balls that hamsters run about in, and then those two people race, regularly bumping into each other and knocking each other off balance. It looked like a blast, and was great fun to watch.
On the other hand, I regret to say that one of my least favorite between-innings entertainments has become ubiquitous – the infamous “Kiss Cam.” This involves cameras around the stadium zooming in on unsuspecting men and women sitting side by side in the stands. The picture is then projected up onto the jumbotron screen for everyone to see, under the words “Kiss Cam.” If the couple sees themselves up on the screen, they are supposed to kiss. If they do, people applaud. If they kiss passionately, people cheer. If they don’t kiss at all, people boo.
Of course, the people with the cameras only point the cameras at pairs they assume are couples – husband and wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. But frequently it is painfully obvious that the people with the cameras have assumed wrong – they have paired up people who are strangers or siblings or otherwise have no reason to want to kiss each other, especially with 40,000 people watching.
So now, if you go to a ball game you have this to worry about. What if a woman you don’t know sits down beside you and the two of you end up on the Kiss Cam? And what if, even though you don’t know her from Eve, she decides to try to kiss you anyway, because she doesn’t want to be booed? And what if when she tries to kiss you, your wife is sitting right there on your other side? Well, maybe I’ve given this way too much thought, but in the end it comes down to this – I just don’t like being put on the spot.
posted by Jimbo | 5:03 PM
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